Employer Advice, Help & Advice July 16, 2024

IS GUILT GETTING IN THE WAY OF DOING YOUR JOB WELL?

Madeleine Geach of The Good Life Coaching is here to share some invaluable pointers to overcome the not-so talked about but very present issue of guilt in hospitality.

Any of these familiar? Feeling sheepish about taking a full break on a day off? Or working way above what’s normal because you feel like you ‘owe’ your boss? Or maybe working on a project on a day off because you spend every minute at work supporting your team? Or unable to make a decision because you are so worried about the impact on others? Or not delegating a job because you think it will be too much for someone else?

There’s a side to leadership that doesn’t get talked about much, but that I see coming up all the time for the hospitality people I coach. Scratch below the surface and guilt is often lurking.

If any of this rings true here are the 5 most common areas I hear about in my coaching room and a strategy to help overcome each one.

1. Switching off work

Giving breaks to your team but not yourself, working on days off, answering emails when away on holiday, there 24/7 to respond in the WhatsApp groups.

Strategy: Breaks are a Duty not a Luxury

Think of your brain as a battery. The Pre-Frontal Cortex (PFC) handles planning, organising, troubleshooting, decision-making, idea generation, and managing difficult situations CALMLY. It needs regular recharging, and breaks are essential for this.

Without breaks, your brain’s battery depletes. When your battery runs low you switch to operating from your Amygdala, the stress response centre.

As a manager, it’s your duty to recharge your brain to handle work calmly and rationally from your PFC, not stressfully from your Amygdala.

2. Getting your own work done

You are always available for your team, ready to drop everything to assist them. Your days hijacked by constant emails and messages. Everyone’s needs and work come before your own…

Strategy: The Deferred Help One Liner

Recognise that constant availability doesn’t define good management. In fact, being less available can foster autonomy in your team. Stepping back allows them to step up. Less availability doesn’t mean negligence, however. Use this one-liner to delay assistance to a more convenient time. You can still be there for people, you just don’t have to drop everything in the moment.

“Right now, I’m working on [task]. Can we discuss this at [specific time]?”.

3. Overcoming Decision Paralysis

Do you find yourself unable to make decisions because you’re overly concerned about their impact? As a leader we need to balance feeling responsible with feeling OVERLY responsible for others. It’s okay if not everyone agrees with your choices; what’s important is that you’re leading with integrity.

Strategy: The 3 Fairs

Thanks to Ceri Gott the People Director at Hawksmoor who taught me this many years ago. To help make a decision with integrity try asking this:

What is fair to the individual?
What is fair to the team?
What is fair to the business?

Answering these 3 questions can help you stand back and view a situation more objectively. One of my clients steps outside of her restaurant every day and asks herself ‘The 3 Fairs’. She says it’s really helped her come to good decisions and follow through on them.

4. Delegating Effectively

Are you hesitant to delegate tasks, worried they might be too much for others? Caring about the welfare of your team and managing their workload is part of good leadership. But this can go too far. And you can end up in the land of being OVER responsible rather than responsible. Again! To overcome this guilt infused management flip your script and reframe how you see delegation.

Strategy: Delegate to Develop People

Delegation isn’t just about offloading tasks; it’s an opportunity to develop your team’s skills. A good leader doesn’t hoard work but is training up their replacement so the people around them are ready for promotions, new opportunities and even pay rises.

Want 3 more guilt free reasons to delegate:

it builds teams cohesion when we share the load
it shows people you trust them
it helps your business – allowing you to get high priority work done

And finally: it all begins with self-awareness. An exercise I set people to get started is to keep a tally. How many times a day do you feel guilty? It’s a great entry point to shine a light into those guilty dark corners.

Madeleine Geach – Countertalk’s resident leadership coach – runs The Good Life coaching and courses for the hospitality industry. She coaches hospitality leaders to build happy, healthy, successful restaurants. She and her team do this through 1-1 and co-founder coaching, group manager development programmes and whole team days.

These pointers were discussed as part of Countertalk’s Skills Lab sessions – a free initiative designed to provide development opportunities to hospitality operators in small, focussed groups. This particular session was made possible by Yonder, the lifestyle rewards credit card for city adventurers. Yonder champions small businesses, connecting independent operators with young professionals keen to experience more of London. Brands like Caravel and Peckham Cellars have already seen incredible results – find out how Yonder can help your business thrive!