By Madeleine Geach

Hospitality is a famously fast-paced industry, which is why so many of us fell in love with it in the first place. But with all those moving pieces constantly firing off at a rapid pace, we need to be quick on our toes to address issues as they come up – and with the fear that something can go wrong always looming in the background, it can be difficult to switch off. This is especially true for those of us with managerial responsibility, the direct points of contact when something needs fixing. But always being available can take its toll. This is for those of us who know these effects all too well, and who need a good lesson in learning to switch off.

Madeleine from The Good Life Coaching is stepping in with some invaluable advice. Read on for a breakdown of why you need to learn to switch off – for the good of the team but most importantly for your own wellbeing – the cold hard facts you’ll need to face, and the practical steps and communication you can implement to help you get there.

Q:

 

I am the Ops Manager of a brilliant restaurant group. I love my role and where I work. Over the past few years, I’ve been promoted several times and taken on more responsibility. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved, and I feel like I’m good at what I do and on a good day, I enjoy it.

 

My problem is I never fully switch off work and it’s starting to affect my mental health. I’m not sleeping well and find it hard to relax. I am constantly checking work WhatsApp on days off. I’m not taking all my holiday allowance. And when I do get away, I’m dipping into work. Even if I’m not actually working or checking messages, it’s still there on my mind. I feel like I never let go of this low-level worry about it all and feel guilty about switching off from things when I know people are dealing with challenges and may need me.

 

A:

 

This is a case of learning to set appropriate boundaries for yourself. You’ll need to prepare by doing the following: take some perspective and think about the long-term impacts of your constant availability – impacts on yourself, but also on your team and the business as a whole.

 

I encourage people to see emotions as data. Whether they’re positive or negative, they’re telling us something. In the same way sleep is a barometer for how we feel. I suspect your body is trying to tell you something – to put some better boundaries in place – and your mind is catching up.

 

I know changing habits is hard. We get set in patterns and everyone expects this behaviour from us – ourselves included. Perhaps some of this will help…

Visualise the long term

Ask yourself, ‘What will happen if I carry on like this for 10 years?’ Really visualise what this would be like. How will your mental, emotional, and physical health be impacted? And what about your personal relationships, the ones you need to dedicate time and energy to maintain? If all of your reserves are going into your work you simply won’t have the ability to keep balance in your life. Other significant parts will suffer, if they aren’t already. Working this way may be doable for a short timeframe but isn’t sustainable over a longer period. You risk coming to resent your work and taking it out on those around you. The job you love and the career you feel so proud of could absolutely be one that you stay in and enjoy, not just ‘on a good day’, but for years to come. You need to figure out how to ensure longevity by pacing yourself, instead of burning the candle at both ends.

Consider your team

By being available all the time you may think you are supporting your team. But there is a flipside to working for someone who never switches off: the people around you may well feel pressure to always be ‘on’ themselves. The cycle perpetuates within the ranks and before you know it everyone is feeling the same stress and anxiety as you are. In addition, if your staff knows that you’re always available, they might come to rely on you for every little thing, even when you aren’t around. By never switching off, you’re encouraging your team to turn to you out of hours. I’d invite you to reframe how you see being a supportive manager. Empower your staff by encouraging them to be more self-reliant and to handle issues themselves. Make ‘support’ mean being a positive role model for your team by instilling healthy work boundaries and self-sufficiency.

Know the science behind breaks

The rational part of our brain is called our pre-frontal cortex (PFC). This is the bit of your brain that thinks clearly, makes good decisions, stays calm under pressure, troubleshoots and problem solves, and sorts sh*t out. Basically, to be good at your job you need to be working entirely from this bit of your brain. Your PFC is like your phone battery. It runs out of energy and needs to recharge itself. It does this by taking breaks. Switching off is not slacking. It’s recharging your brain so you can do your job well. Once you know this, it may help alleviate the guilt you feel when you are off work.

Face hard truths

When it comes to switching off work, there’s one hard truth. Very often, no-one else is going to give you the permission you need to switch off. Ultimately, switching off is your own decision and the responsibility lies with you. If you struggle to allow yourself downtime, imagine how you might advise someone else going through this. We tend to be too harsh on ourselves and give our wisest advice to others.  What would you say to a friend in your situation? Reframe the way you speak to yourself so that it comes from a place of care, just like how you would address your loved ones.

Write out your boundaries 

Boundaries are the healthy rules we have in place to navigate life and work. Very often they are boundaries for ourselves as much as they are for others. Consider how much time you want to dedicate to work, and how much time you want (or need) to dedicate to life outside of it. What do you need time for (family, partner, exercise, hobbies, personal projects)? What hours are you willing to do work in?  What hours will you be contactable? How would you like to be contacted in emergencies outside of these hours? What hours will you be offline? How will you communicate this to others? What are your rules for work when on holiday?

Start by writing 5 -10 of your ‘rules’ (e.g. I will be contactable 8am – 6pm on work days). Then write a consequence for each rule focussing on what you will do if the boundary is broken (e.g. if I get a message outside of these hours I will ignore it until my next working day).  Setting these boundaries will help keep your staff, but most importantly you, accountable.

• Switching off notifications on your phone if you haven’t already can be a game changer.
• Setting up the ‘Focus’ mode on your phone takes this further and allows you to choose times of day and locations when you will receive messages and be able to access key apps.
• Asking for a work phone can help contain work messages.
• Keeping work WhatsApp groups separate from personal messages by putting them in the archive section can also help, so that you don’t see them during off time.
• Try booking your holiday/time off for the rest of the year ahead of time, so that it’s set in stone and you have plenty of time to prepare your team for when you’re away.

This is not about you not caring about your job, or being lazy, or letting your team down. Set the guilt aside and look at the facts. Switching off is a positive and necessary part of work life that allows us to take the time out we need to recharge. This means that we’re able to do our jobs well AND it keeps us motivated to stay in it for the long-term. It also sets a positive example to everyone at work and can help foster self sufficiency so that your team is better able to function without you.

Taking these steps will help you feel better about taking the time you need for your personal life, which means you’re more likely to enjoy life outside of it. And lastly, don’t forget to communicate with your team! Let them know if you’re taking any of the steps above so that they aren’t surprised when you don’t immediately reply to your messages. No one is a superhuman and even those with a big chunk of the responsibility need the space to switch off!