This is for YOU if you are managing someone older or more experienced than you, and finding that it’s affecting your confidence and impact as a manager. Our resident leadership expert Madeleine Geach from The Good Life has worked through this issue with everyone from new managers to high profile restaurant founders: she’s here to help with real, actionable tips to help you ace this very particular dynamic.

Hello new manager! Managing older, more experienced members of a team is a common challenge in hospitality. You get promoted quickly because you are good at what you do. And, all of a sudden, you find yourself managing a team with very little training in how to do this – some of whom are older and more experienced than you.  This situation can really test your confidence. I’ve been there myself: in my 20s I was the youngest and most senior person on my team, managing people up to 20 years older than me.

And it’s not just new managers who are affected. I regularly coach restaurant founders leading teams who have more experience than them in the day to day of service. You may not imagine it, but they too find this intimidating as they feel like their team knows the job better than them.

So what helps? Here I’m sharing 6 strategies straight from my coaching room that the people I’ve worked with (at all stages in their career) say have made things better. 

KNOW YOUR STRENGTHS

Managing someone with more experience can trigger feelings of imposter syndrome. Remember, you were chosen for this role for a reason.

Combat insecure feelings by identifying and internalizing your strengths. Create a list of at least 15 skills and attributes that make you the right person for the job. Keep this list visible — pin it to your wardrobe door or save it in your Notes app — and revisit it every day until you are feeling stronger. This practice builds your confidence by reminding you of your value.

ACT AS IF…!

As much as possible stop fixating about the fact that direct reports are older or more experienced than you. And if it’s hard to change your thoughts – it is! – start by acting as if their age or experience was not ‘a thing’.

This is a powerful confidence tool from the ‘fake it till you make it’ school of self-belief. Ask yourself how a confident manager would be acting, and just do it! The more you act as if, the more you will create some muscle memory and confident behaviour will start to feel more natural.

LEVERAGE THEIR EXPERIENCE

Show your older team member their perspective and experience are prized.

Don’t be afraid to ask them for advice or get their view on something. By acknowledging their experience in this way, you address the elephant in the room and make them feel valued.

SEEK FEEDBACK (NOT APPROVAL)

Show you are confident enough to open yourself up to feedback and two-way dialogue. Listen actively to their insights and resist the urge to get defensive if your ideas are challenged.

However, balance is key: while you should consider others’ input, remember that you are the final decision-maker. Keeping this in mind helps you be open to feedback and different perspectives without feeling threatened or undermined by it.

USE 1-ON-1 SESSIONS

Regular 1-on-1 meetings are essential for building relationships and breaking down unhealthy dynamics that may arise in group settings.

Use these meetings to invest in your older, or more experienced team member. Focus on their development, show genuine interest in them as individuals, and help them overcome challenges. By prioritizing these interactions, you’ll foster a stronger, more trusting relationship.

BE EMPATHETIC

Step into their shoes. If they are a different generation to you and have other priorities in life take an interest in their world.

If they’ve worked there for a long time, ask about the changes they’ve seen take place. The goal isn’t to make change optional—it’s not.  But you may get a deeper understanding of what it’s been like for them. And more openness to your new way of doing things.

3 MISTAKES TO AVOID

Here are three common pitfalls to dodge:

• Assuming It’s a Problem
  Don’t jump to conclusions that age or experience differences automatically create issues. You may create a problem that isn’t there through your own lack of confidence.
• Assuming Someone Is Stuck in Their Ways
  Don’t jump to conclusions that age or experience differences automatically create issues. You may create a problem that isn’t there through your own lack of confidence.
• Assuming They Don’t Want Training
  Just because someone has been in the role longer doesn’t mean they don’t benefit from training and feedback!

AND FINALLY…

Keeping confident as a manager takes work. It’s normal to feel thrown at times. If you feel your confidence wobbling for any reason, choose some daily steps like the ones above to help you get back on course. You and your team will feel better for it. So where will you start?

Madeleine Geach runs The Good Life – leadership coaching and courses for the hospitality industry. Follow her @thegoodlifecoaching or email madeleine@thegoodlifecoaching.net if you are interested in working with her and her team.