“I’ve been really evaluating my stress levels over the last few months, and the impact it has on me. I love the industry but hate the toll the kitchen takes on me and my mental health. I have been thinking about leaving my job for ages because I think it’s the main contributing factor to my stress, but I also worry that it’s all in my head. What if it’s me and my lack of ability to cope? How do I differentiate between whether it’s my job which is the real cause of my stress, or other areas in my life?”

This is a valid question which many find difficult to grasp the answer to, and a huge part of the love-hate relationship with working in hospitality. It’s great that you are paying attention to this as it is so easy in life to bury our heads or go along with quick fixes to alleviate stress levels, but it sounds like you are trying to understand this on a deeper level which I have no doubt is going to be very beneficial to you long-term.

Stress is a normal physiological reaction. The type of stress that has a negative impact on us is called distress. Distress is a very normal reaction to stressors in our life which overwhelm us physiologically and emotionally for one reason or another.

 

Distress is almost impossible to avoid entirely, and not all stress is bad as it definitely does have its benefits at work – it keeps us alert and motivated and to some extent we’d be pretty much useless in hospitality without it. But there is certainly a difference between feeling ‘focussed and in the zone’ versus feeling overwhelmed with stressors and feeling like we’re tipping in to some kind of burnout.

 

Your ability to cope isn’t failing you, your body is actually giving you heads up that you’ve hit capacity – that you’re only human and there’s only so much that you can physically do, think and feel. Identifying the stressors in your life is important in regards to understanding what you potentially do about reducing the harmful effect that distress is having on you, how to recover from the damage that distress has already created and finding a healthier way of living without constantly tipping your scales into distress.

When it comes to distress, look at the evidence of how distress has impacted you and go with your gut instinct. Something within may be showing up as thoughts, feeling or physical symptoms (or all three) and saying ‘I don’t like this’ or ‘this is too much’. Listen to it, it’s trying to communicate with you and help you to realise that something is off.

 

It is certainly possible that work isn’t the entire culprit, often other aspects in our life impact how we perform and feel about work, so if you do love your job then perhaps there are factors within your role that need to be tweaked or counterbalanced with other things, so that you are better able to cope and enjoy your role. But if your intuition is telling you that you need to action more than that, and you need a change, then trust your own judgement.

 

This may be a process of trial and error and it may take some time to find out what feels more sustainable, but any effort towards reducing stress levels and working on your mental health could turn out to be some of the most valuable and productive work that you do.