Ask Merly: the Countertalk problem page 15.02.21
I am within senior management of a bar group and I am growing increasingly concerned for our staff. We are all on furlough but I want to reach out to the team and see how they are doing as I am finding furlough difficult myself and I feel that the business isn’t doing to enough in terms of keeping in contact or updating them and offering emotional support. How can I approach this?
This current time is difficult for the employees which are furloughed, but also management who feel responsible for their teams and/ or have a strong bond with their team. I have spoken to many clients who have come to be who feel let down by their employers simply because of the lack of communication and support towards them. Many employees have been furloughed very quickly without any real dialogue or reassurance from employers, so panic arises. It’s important to bear in mind that for those in management and many owners, this issue is different and has its complexities, but here are some generic ideas on how to support to communicate with your team on an emotional level…
Prepare your Communication
Furlough is a new term and experience for us all and it has left many uncomfortable and confused. Communication decreases distress and increases cooperation so giving employees a courtesy call may be really beneficial, but think about what it is that you want to say. Gain permission for their contact number / personal email addresses and explaining that you are keen to communicate with them about non-work matters during their furloughed period. Outlining what the nature of your communication will give you confidence when speaking to a staff member and give them clarity and ease around why you are contacting them in the first place. It may also help to avoid the questions in which you are not in the position to answer or have no knowledge on.
Be prepared to witness people reacting differently to these circumstances and adjust your communication and approach accordingly. Some may feel really upbeat and encouraged by your call, and some may be really emotional and insecure. Everyone is trying to adapt to this situation in their own way and some might feel that they don’t need the additional support and don’t want to be contacted or have a chat. It’s probably not personal, just that everyone may be not attracted to this idea and that’s okay.
Share the load
You don’t have to be the only one encouraging connection and support within your team. If possible, find ways to connect the team so they can build their own network and /or pair up and support each other. This may be less draining on you and actually more beneficial to the team. Take advantage of WhatsApp, Zoom, Skype or other software and think about creating some team activities. This will increase morale and offer a little distraction from current times. I also have heard of businesses setting up online running challenges, group yoga or film clubs… the online world is really our oyster right now! And if you can get other managers and owners involved too. Everyone is prone to feeling vulnerable during these strange times.
Expand your knowledge on mental health resources
Instead of feeling like you have to shoulder everyone’s mental health issues and not knowing how to help, doing a little research into decent resources which staff can contact may help you to feel more confident to discuss this sensitive topic. If you have an Employment Assistant Programme (EAP) then make staff fully aware of the services available. If you don’t then this a list of resources and helplines may be a good start.
The Drinks Trust are offering an online therapy service for those in the drinks industry. Or contact their helpline on 0800 915 4610
Hospitality Action may be able to help hospitality on a free of charge basis and provide access to support services such as legal advice and counselling. Even if your place of work doesn’t use their EAP, they may be able to still help you / your employees, as long as you meet their eligibility criteria. You can contact them on 0808 802 0282 to find out more about starting an application. Also, remember that resources are there for management and owners too!
How are you doing?
Whilst supporting others, boosting morale and taking on other people’s issues, this could be really draining on your energy. Like a battery, there is only so much energy mental, emotional and physical energy that we can exert. Consider ways to preserve and recover your energy. Keep in mind the things that keep you stable and restore your energy and make time for them.
If you feel that your issues regarding the pandemic or otherwise are getting on top of you then seeking help from a professional could be very beneficial. Talking therapies offer a confidential and non-judgemental space for you to off-load discuss how you are really feeling and help you to process and move forward. Whatever it is that you need to maintain your mental wellbeing, please look after yourself. Nobody is invincible or immune to difficult times.
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Hi Counteralk community,
You know that we’ve got you right? When you’re dealing with those big issues, you want someone who really gets it. Merly is an ex-chef, therapist, stress reduction coach and founder of @me_myself_inmind, which provides workshops, one-to-one therapy and group therapy for you incredible, hard-working, hard-caring people in the hospitality industry. Their mission is built around educating others on stress reduction techniques, mental health awareness and the importance of learning coping skills, emotional resilience and self awareness. Maybe you are working right now, or maybe you are at home learning to adjust. Those skills are still sorely needed to boost our wellbeing whatever we are up to.
Each week Merly is on hand to answer some of our community’s problems. If you would like to submit a problem, please email merly@countertalk.co.uk. All questions are completely confidential and kept 100% anonymous, now and always.